greetings and re-posts :)
first off, A BLESSED CHRISTMAS AND WONDERFUL NEW YEAR TO ALL!!! :) no matter how each one is celebrating the holidays, i hope everyone remembers that this season is not only special because there are long weekends or lots of gifts and food prepared but because the God who promised to be with us came to earth to save us...
that's the greetings part...here's the re-posts part. actually, i'm not sure who posted it before but it's funny to actually see on the internet two versions. read on, people :)
An Open Letter to my Future Husband
Even though I don't know exactly who you'll be yet, I think of you often. I wonder how you're living your life now. It matters to me, you know, because how you live your life now determines the kind of man you're becoming...and the kind of man I'll spend the rest of my life with.
Apparently, for some bizarre reason, manhood doesn't come automatically for males. Some guys seem to spend their entire lives trying to "prove their manhood" - by hunting, playing sports, driving fast...and, unfortunately, by having sex. It seems rather strange to us women that guys think having sex proves you're a man. To us, it just proves that you've reached puberty. And we don't really consider that, in itself, to be any great accomplishment. Becoming a man is a much more complicated process.
The funny thing is, even in this day in age, most guys want to marry a girl who respects her sexuality. A guy doesn't like the idea of his future wife in the back-seat with someone else, or of her being the subject of a sexual conquest story in the locker room. They'll brag about girls like that, but they won't marry them. They want to marry a girl, whether she's never "done it" or done it and regretted it, who recognizes that sex speaks the language of forever, committed love...someone like me.
But why would I want to marry someone like that...someone who wants to marry a virgin, but spends his dating years robbing other girls of their virginity so that he can prove his manhood? He's not a "real man" in my eyes - he's a selfish, immature boy driven by insecurity, not love. And I'm not interested.
I want more from you. I want you to respect your sexuality as much as I respect mine. I want you to be a real, confident man, not a wimp who has to use women to feed his insecurity. A guy like that couldn't use all of those women, and then suddenly love me. He may be "good" in bed, but he's no good at loving.
I want you to learn to really love. Learning to love is learning to put the other first. A guy who messes around outside of marriage isn't putting the good of the other first. He's using a girl...speaking the "body language" of permanent commitment when the relationship isn't permanent. He's putting the girl at risk of pregnancy. And he's putting himself at risk for some nasty diseases...diseases he can then later give his wife. That's not making love. A real man loves women - all women - and wants what's best for them. And he doesn't let his desires control his actions. He controls his desires instead.
I want you to develop self-control. That's important to me. I don't want to marry a man who can't control himself. Men like that make lousy husbands. A guy who isn't used to saying "no" to sex isn't going to be any better at 40 than he was at 18. I've seen women who worry every time their husbands hire an attractive secretary. I don't want that. What kind of marriage could I have with someone I couldn't even trust on a business trip?
In the short run, I'm sure there aren't too many rewards for a guy living this way. Society tells you that you're missing out on your "sexual peak." Your silence during locker room bragging sessions can seem deafening. You may have even heard from the girls you date that something must be "wrong" with you because you won't take them to bed. Deep down, you must know that having sex won't prove you're a man. It's just irritating to no one else seems to know it, isn't it?
But someone else does know it. I know it. And in the end, I'm the only someone who matters.
And no, I'm not as narrow-minded as those guys who say they'll only marry a virgin. Society isn't too supportive of virginity, especially male virginity. I can forgive mistakes in your past. But I'm interested in your future, starting now. When I meet you, I want you to be a man who has made a conscious decision to wait...out of love for our future family and commitment to marriage. And I want you to be a real man, who's developed the control, maturity and unselfishness that waiting brings. They may not be popular traits in the locker room, but they're popular with me. They'll make you a better husband, and a better father. To me, that's sexy.
I've abstained from sex all these years, and it hasn't been for the lack of offers. I've had plenty of opportunities, and saying "no" hasn't always been easy. I'm sure it's not always easy for you, either. But it will make our marriage so much stronger. Sex will be our gift to each other, our exclusive "language." It'll belong to us, not "us and everyone else we ever dated."
Thanks for waiting for me, I promise you won't regret it.
-Author Unknown
http://www.geocities.com/thevirginclub/FutureHubby.htm
Letter to My Future Wife
To my future wife,
I found myself thinking about you today. Wondering where you are, what you’re thinking and doing. It hurts a little not to be with you, but I can live with that for now, knowing that we’ll spend the rest of our lives together. I’m writing this letter to help you understand what I’ve been thinking about and why. I probably don’t know all the right things to say, but my feelings and words are from the heart.
Actually I find myself thinking about you more and more. The very idea of you provides a much needed break from the pressures of dating, relationships and life. In the midst of it all – the thought of you calms and refreshes me – makes me smile, in spite of my situation and surroundings.
I know it sounds crazy, but I picture you – your smile, the way you pull your hair behind your ear, your wonderful laugh, even when my jokes aren’t funny. I can’t help but wonder what our children will look like
I’ve gone out with other girls, but something always seems to be missing. I go out and have fun but the idea of you and our future together is always in my thoughts. It keeps me focused and on track, aware of who I am and what’s important.
And loving you, without ever having met you, makes me want to be deserving of your love. So I wait for you – in mind, body, and soul.
I don’t usually talk or write like this, but my mind and heart are racing with anticipation. Because I love you, because I know you’re out there. Because the very thought of you makes my pulse race, my palms sweat, my stomach flip like I’m on a roller coaster. And what better way to show that I’ve always loved you than to save myself for you – completely. And I hope that you’re doing the same.
I know waiting isn’t easy. We’re taught to expect instant gratification. We’re told we shouldn’t have to wait – for anything. Too often we act on feelings or impulses, sacrificing the future by buying into the lie that sex equals love, leaving little room for commitment or marriage. But that’s not love and that’s not why I’m thinking about and waiting for you.
I’m waiting for you because I love you unconditionally. And I need you to know that what matters to me is not where you’ve been or what you’ve done, but where you’re going. Maybe you didn’t know I existed. Or you thought that we’d found each other, only to realize later that what you discovered wasn’t true love. Real love is so different from infatuation or simple pleasure. It isn’t abusive or selfish or purely physical. Real love involves mutual respect, affection, trust, equality, and a shared spirituality. Real love doesn’t revolve around sex! Real love grows into a relationship where sexual intimacy will only serve to express that love – marriage.
I talked with a friend the other day about chastity – modesty and purity in our thoughts, words, the way we dress and act – how it’s a building block for a perfect love that casts out all fear. And sex before marriage brings many fears – pregnancy, STDs, the emotional scars associated with broken relationships. So, in the search for perfect love, it only makes sense to practice chastity and wait until you’re married to give yourself to the person you love. And --- OUR marriage will bring with it the promise of forever. We will give ourselves to one another completely, become best friends – soul mates. So even though we may be apart right now, by living chastely for each other in the present we can build our future together.
Have you ever been in the middle of doing something when you stop to think, “This would be perfect if….?” Those words come to mind often – for example, on a Fall day, with leaves covering the ground and crisp, cool breezes blowing, and I think, “This would be perfect if…. She were here.” The thought that someday you will be here comforts me.
And… I want that same thought to comfort you. Whether you realize it or not, I’ve been there in your thoughts, that shiver or the goosebumps you get every once in a while – in the long daydream or a lingering glance. You don’t have to wonder anymore, because I’m real, I love you and I am waiting for you – in every way. And now that you know I’m here, I hope you’ll do the same. Whenever you feel scared, unsure, or pressured to give a part of yourself away, read this letter. Think about us and how perfect it will be when we are together.
You may have been waiting and looking for me all the while. You may be starting today. Either way, we’ll know when we’ve found each other; we’ll be together for the rest of our lives and the wait will have been worthwhile.
All My Love,
Your Future Husband
***Teens4Jesus would like to thank http://www.whylife.org for creating this letter. It is our hope that it has touched you and made you think about your future spouse. If you have any questions please email them to info@teens4jesus.org***
http://www.teens4jesus.org/resources/purity/wife.htm
December 24, 2005
first off, A BLESSED CHRISTMAS AND WONDERFUL NEW YEAR TO ALL!!! :) no matter how each one is celebrating the holidays, i hope everyone remembers that this season is not only special because there are long weekends or lots of gifts and food prepared but because the God who promised to be with us came to earth to save us...
that's the greetings part...here's the re-posts part. actually, i'm not sure who posted it before but it's funny to actually see on the internet two versions. read on, people :)
An Open Letter to my Future Husband
Even though I don't know exactly who you'll be yet, I think of you often. I wonder how you're living your life now. It matters to me, you know, because how you live your life now determines the kind of man you're becoming...and the kind of man I'll spend the rest of my life with.
Apparently, for some bizarre reason, manhood doesn't come automatically for males. Some guys seem to spend their entire lives trying to "prove their manhood" - by hunting, playing sports, driving fast...and, unfortunately, by having sex. It seems rather strange to us women that guys think having sex proves you're a man. To us, it just proves that you've reached puberty. And we don't really consider that, in itself, to be any great accomplishment. Becoming a man is a much more complicated process.
The funny thing is, even in this day in age, most guys want to marry a girl who respects her sexuality. A guy doesn't like the idea of his future wife in the back-seat with someone else, or of her being the subject of a sexual conquest story in the locker room. They'll brag about girls like that, but they won't marry them. They want to marry a girl, whether she's never "done it" or done it and regretted it, who recognizes that sex speaks the language of forever, committed love...someone like me.
But why would I want to marry someone like that...someone who wants to marry a virgin, but spends his dating years robbing other girls of their virginity so that he can prove his manhood? He's not a "real man" in my eyes - he's a selfish, immature boy driven by insecurity, not love. And I'm not interested.
I want more from you. I want you to respect your sexuality as much as I respect mine. I want you to be a real, confident man, not a wimp who has to use women to feed his insecurity. A guy like that couldn't use all of those women, and then suddenly love me. He may be "good" in bed, but he's no good at loving.
I want you to learn to really love. Learning to love is learning to put the other first. A guy who messes around outside of marriage isn't putting the good of the other first. He's using a girl...speaking the "body language" of permanent commitment when the relationship isn't permanent. He's putting the girl at risk of pregnancy. And he's putting himself at risk for some nasty diseases...diseases he can then later give his wife. That's not making love. A real man loves women - all women - and wants what's best for them. And he doesn't let his desires control his actions. He controls his desires instead.
I want you to develop self-control. That's important to me. I don't want to marry a man who can't control himself. Men like that make lousy husbands. A guy who isn't used to saying "no" to sex isn't going to be any better at 40 than he was at 18. I've seen women who worry every time their husbands hire an attractive secretary. I don't want that. What kind of marriage could I have with someone I couldn't even trust on a business trip?
In the short run, I'm sure there aren't too many rewards for a guy living this way. Society tells you that you're missing out on your "sexual peak." Your silence during locker room bragging sessions can seem deafening. You may have even heard from the girls you date that something must be "wrong" with you because you won't take them to bed. Deep down, you must know that having sex won't prove you're a man. It's just irritating to no one else seems to know it, isn't it?
But someone else does know it. I know it. And in the end, I'm the only someone who matters.
And no, I'm not as narrow-minded as those guys who say they'll only marry a virgin. Society isn't too supportive of virginity, especially male virginity. I can forgive mistakes in your past. But I'm interested in your future, starting now. When I meet you, I want you to be a man who has made a conscious decision to wait...out of love for our future family and commitment to marriage. And I want you to be a real man, who's developed the control, maturity and unselfishness that waiting brings. They may not be popular traits in the locker room, but they're popular with me. They'll make you a better husband, and a better father. To me, that's sexy.
I've abstained from sex all these years, and it hasn't been for the lack of offers. I've had plenty of opportunities, and saying "no" hasn't always been easy. I'm sure it's not always easy for you, either. But it will make our marriage so much stronger. Sex will be our gift to each other, our exclusive "language." It'll belong to us, not "us and everyone else we ever dated."
Thanks for waiting for me, I promise you won't regret it.
-Author Unknown
http://www.geocities.com/thevirginclub/FutureHubby.htm
Letter to My Future Wife
To my future wife,
I found myself thinking about you today. Wondering where you are, what you’re thinking and doing. It hurts a little not to be with you, but I can live with that for now, knowing that we’ll spend the rest of our lives together. I’m writing this letter to help you understand what I’ve been thinking about and why. I probably don’t know all the right things to say, but my feelings and words are from the heart.
Actually I find myself thinking about you more and more. The very idea of you provides a much needed break from the pressures of dating, relationships and life. In the midst of it all – the thought of you calms and refreshes me – makes me smile, in spite of my situation and surroundings.
I know it sounds crazy, but I picture you – your smile, the way you pull your hair behind your ear, your wonderful laugh, even when my jokes aren’t funny. I can’t help but wonder what our children will look like
I’ve gone out with other girls, but something always seems to be missing. I go out and have fun but the idea of you and our future together is always in my thoughts. It keeps me focused and on track, aware of who I am and what’s important.
And loving you, without ever having met you, makes me want to be deserving of your love. So I wait for you – in mind, body, and soul.
I don’t usually talk or write like this, but my mind and heart are racing with anticipation. Because I love you, because I know you’re out there. Because the very thought of you makes my pulse race, my palms sweat, my stomach flip like I’m on a roller coaster. And what better way to show that I’ve always loved you than to save myself for you – completely. And I hope that you’re doing the same.
I know waiting isn’t easy. We’re taught to expect instant gratification. We’re told we shouldn’t have to wait – for anything. Too often we act on feelings or impulses, sacrificing the future by buying into the lie that sex equals love, leaving little room for commitment or marriage. But that’s not love and that’s not why I’m thinking about and waiting for you.
I’m waiting for you because I love you unconditionally. And I need you to know that what matters to me is not where you’ve been or what you’ve done, but where you’re going. Maybe you didn’t know I existed. Or you thought that we’d found each other, only to realize later that what you discovered wasn’t true love. Real love is so different from infatuation or simple pleasure. It isn’t abusive or selfish or purely physical. Real love involves mutual respect, affection, trust, equality, and a shared spirituality. Real love doesn’t revolve around sex! Real love grows into a relationship where sexual intimacy will only serve to express that love – marriage.
I talked with a friend the other day about chastity – modesty and purity in our thoughts, words, the way we dress and act – how it’s a building block for a perfect love that casts out all fear. And sex before marriage brings many fears – pregnancy, STDs, the emotional scars associated with broken relationships. So, in the search for perfect love, it only makes sense to practice chastity and wait until you’re married to give yourself to the person you love. And --- OUR marriage will bring with it the promise of forever. We will give ourselves to one another completely, become best friends – soul mates. So even though we may be apart right now, by living chastely for each other in the present we can build our future together.
Have you ever been in the middle of doing something when you stop to think, “This would be perfect if….?” Those words come to mind often – for example, on a Fall day, with leaves covering the ground and crisp, cool breezes blowing, and I think, “This would be perfect if…. She were here.” The thought that someday you will be here comforts me.
And… I want that same thought to comfort you. Whether you realize it or not, I’ve been there in your thoughts, that shiver or the goosebumps you get every once in a while – in the long daydream or a lingering glance. You don’t have to wonder anymore, because I’m real, I love you and I am waiting for you – in every way. And now that you know I’m here, I hope you’ll do the same. Whenever you feel scared, unsure, or pressured to give a part of yourself away, read this letter. Think about us and how perfect it will be when we are together.
You may have been waiting and looking for me all the while. You may be starting today. Either way, we’ll know when we’ve found each other; we’ll be together for the rest of our lives and the wait will have been worthwhile.
All My Love,
Your Future Husband
***Teens4Jesus would like to thank http://www.whylife.org for creating this letter. It is our hope that it has touched you and made you think about your future spouse. If you have any questions please email them to info@teens4jesus.org***
http://www.teens4jesus.org/resources/purity/wife.htm
December 24, 2005
have a nice day...
QUOTE FOR THE DAY:
"Truth must become more than historical doctrines; it must be more than a museum of religious artifacts - mementos from when God once moved. Truth is knowing God's heart as it was revealed in Christ, and it is knowing our own hearts in the light of God's grace. " - Francis Frangipane
November 14, 2005
QUOTE FOR THE DAY:
"Truth must become more than historical doctrines; it must be more than a museum of religious artifacts - mementos from when God once moved. Truth is knowing God's heart as it was revealed in Christ, and it is knowing our own hearts in the light of God's grace. " - Francis Frangipane
November 14, 2005
hearing "I LOVE YOU"...
Josh Groban - When You Say You Love Me
Like the sound of silence calling,
Josh Groban - When You Say You Love Me
Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breath.
When you say you love me,
The world goes still, so still and silent.
When you say you love me,
For a moment, there's no one else alive.
You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time,
Oh when you say those words.
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still and silent.
When you say you love me
For a moment there's no one else alive.
[bridge:]And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.
When you say you love meThe world goes still, so still and silent.When you say you love meIn that moment I know why I'm alive.When you say you love me.When you say you love me.Do you know how I love you?
November 03, 2005
November 03, 2005
fresh extravagance...
"Do you know that God wants to forge fresh ground in your life?"
- Dr. james McDonald...
do we really know how much God wants us to find joy in Him everyday? i was struck by this statement when i read Joy's forwarded email/ devotional to me tonight. i thought about how tired i felt having to wake up this morning and not exactly looking forward to whatever the new day will bring me, the very minute ways of God catching, or rather, trying to catch our attention...
true, a lot of people get overworked. and not that i'm blaming them but i used to instantly blurt out "it's not as if they don't have a choice." well, lately, i have been thinking that maybe it's never as simple as that. yes, there will always be different circumstances as to why some people overwork themselves but yes, i am assured today that whether we find the simple answers or not, it is the purpose for what we are doing that will count. it's never just "the end justifies the means" argument. beyond that is motive. what we are convinced of we are doing and should do in this world that sometimes we allow ourselves to be caught up in tons of workloads? i still wonder...
but this much i know: at any time of the day, i only have to remember that GOd's love is extravagant. can you imagine God being overworked trying to win our love? trying to tell us over and over that He would do anything and give everything for us? can you even imagine that sometimes we reject that love too? well, as i listened to Casting Crown's song this day, i am much more ascertained that there isn't anything i wouldn't leave to be captivated in His loving arms everyday of my life...
Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant
Chorus: Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known
You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again
Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend Capture my heart again Your love is extravagant Your friendship, it is intimate...
October 18, 2005
a poem, a song, and a story...
the cool thing about blogging is that you can talk about so many things that can range from as mundane as the weather to as personal as your love life and still not worry that people are actually reading your entries. haha! and well, although our thesis showed that bloggers do project their "online persona" because they admitted it, we didn't have the psychological basis for that conclusion...that'd be interesting...human behavior and reasoning have always been interesting, after all...
so today, i won't be changing colors in a single entry and the font color for now isn't as eye-catching as has been the usual.
...Untitled and possibly unfinished...
you are not as smart as people thought perhaps you want to be another ordinary person is that beyond reason?
your dreams are big more like fantasies like a child at night blissful to be asleep then awakened to reality.
your thoughts of God surely they aren't just fad struggling to find a life purpose not written in some book you've read. you are as intangible as a vague memory simply floating carefree through life, goals unmet and unset, sadly true.
- october 8 '05 - angelhaze -
i was sitting in Del Taco when i heard this song over the radio:
GOODBYE GIRL. i don't know if it made me feel sad or was supposed to make me feel better but a lot of things were brought in my memory when i came across that song...getting ou of high school and getting out of college...
All your life you’ve waited for love to come and stay
And now that I have found you, you must not slip away
I know it’s hard believin’ the words you’ve heard before
But darlin’ you must trust them just once more...
’cause babyGoodbye doesn’t mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn’t mean
We’ll never be together again
If you wake up and I’m not there,
I won’t be long away
’cause the things you do my goodbye girl
Will bring me back toyou.
I know you’ve been taken, afraid to hurt again
You fight the love you feel for me instead of givin’ in
But I can wait forever, a-helpin’ you to see
That I was meant for you and you for me...so remember
Goodbye doesn’t mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn’t mean
We’ll never be together again
Though we may be so far apart you still will have my heart
So forget your past my goodbye girl’cause now you’re home at last.
HOME AT LAST...that is so refreshing to hear and imagine, in all honesty...and finally, speaking of home, there's this nice story emailed to me. go read! :)
I Love Rubber Bands
By Bo Sanchez
Let me tell you a crazy story I heard recently. There's this husband Who out of sheer love for his wife decided to prove it to her. So he swam the widest oceans, crossed the deepest rivers, and climbed the highest mountains to show his deep devotion to her.
But in the end, she divorced him.
Why?
Because he was never home.(Get it?)
Let me tell you an experience I had as a kid. One day, I asked Mom, "Why do my shoes keep eating my socks?" As a young boy, that was always a mystery for me. All my other classmates never had that problem. Their socks remained tight and high up their legs the entire day.Mom didn't answer my question but simply gave me two rubber bands which I dutifully placed around the top of my socks. To this day, fifteen years later, I still have permanent circle marks around my legs. But aside from giving me this slight defect, the two bands worked like magic.
It never occurred to me that Dad and Mom didn't have the money to buy a new pair of socks for me. So I wore five-year-old socks, all soggy,grayish, and garter less.
And yet amazingly, I never complained. I believe it was because Dad was always home when I needed him. Every night, after coming from work, we'd jog together, sit around, and talk about Tarzan, Farrah Fawcett Majors,God, and what I wanted to be when I grew up (a stockholder). On Saturdays, we'd walk to Cubao, eat a hotdog-on-a-stick, and buy new rubber bands before going home.
I've learned that in truth, we don't want our loved ones to show their love for us in big ways. Swimming the widest oceans, crossing the deepest rivers, and climbing the highest mountains seem spectacular -but that's not what we really want.
Deep in our hearts, we just want them home. With us.
Sometimes, God will operate that way. Suddenly, He decides not to answer our prayers, or fill our need, or heal our sickness, or give us the miracle we're asking for. (He's got reasons why He won't, and believe me- they're pretty good ones.)
So He'll just be there beside you, holding you in a hug. Sharing yourpain. Weeping as you weep. Oh, He might give you some rubber bands. And that small comfort from Him will be more than enough to sustain you.
Because the most essential truth you already know.
...HOME.
October 14, 2005
By Bo Sanchez
Let me tell you a crazy story I heard recently. There's this husband Who out of sheer love for his wife decided to prove it to her. So he swam the widest oceans, crossed the deepest rivers, and climbed the highest mountains to show his deep devotion to her.
But in the end, she divorced him.
Why?
Because he was never home.(Get it?)
Let me tell you an experience I had as a kid. One day, I asked Mom, "Why do my shoes keep eating my socks?" As a young boy, that was always a mystery for me. All my other classmates never had that problem. Their socks remained tight and high up their legs the entire day.Mom didn't answer my question but simply gave me two rubber bands which I dutifully placed around the top of my socks. To this day, fifteen years later, I still have permanent circle marks around my legs. But aside from giving me this slight defect, the two bands worked like magic.
It never occurred to me that Dad and Mom didn't have the money to buy a new pair of socks for me. So I wore five-year-old socks, all soggy,grayish, and garter less.
And yet amazingly, I never complained. I believe it was because Dad was always home when I needed him. Every night, after coming from work, we'd jog together, sit around, and talk about Tarzan, Farrah Fawcett Majors,God, and what I wanted to be when I grew up (a stockholder). On Saturdays, we'd walk to Cubao, eat a hotdog-on-a-stick, and buy new rubber bands before going home.
I've learned that in truth, we don't want our loved ones to show their love for us in big ways. Swimming the widest oceans, crossing the deepest rivers, and climbing the highest mountains seem spectacular -but that's not what we really want.
Deep in our hearts, we just want them home. With us.
Sometimes, God will operate that way. Suddenly, He decides not to answer our prayers, or fill our need, or heal our sickness, or give us the miracle we're asking for. (He's got reasons why He won't, and believe me- they're pretty good ones.)
So He'll just be there beside you, holding you in a hug. Sharing yourpain. Weeping as you weep. Oh, He might give you some rubber bands. And that small comfort from Him will be more than enough to sustain you.
Because the most essential truth you already know.
...HOME.
October 14, 2005
beware: rants...
from ONE TREE HILL
...losing your heart's desire is tragic, yes but gaining your heart's desire is all you can hope for...Peyton...
i could hold you in my arms forever and it still wouldn't be long enough...Jake...
when your heart breaks, you got to fight with all you've got...the pain tells you you're alive...the confusion and fear reminds you of something better to look forward to...Nathan
from GREY'S ANATOMY...all i know is that you saved me when i i felt like i was drowning...Dr. McDreamy
...that's not enough...Meredith
ouch...those lines can go straight to one's heart. like there is always that question of when love is truly enough for that somebody else...sometimes you think maybe you've loved with all you got but there are days you just wonder again...maybe at the end of the day, we just hope to learn to love unconditionally and not measuring if we have given enough or not...because maybe after all, love is an experience you don't gauge whether it's hot or cold but something you keep in your heart no matter what...
can you imagine i just blogged that a few days back and well, notice how shifting our feelings and viewpoints can be...or we just keep thinking of things and re-think things and jumble them all together! how crazy can it get i wonder.
can you see beyond the happy face? i have always wondered that. if people actually "see-through" their loved ones' smiles and figure that slight tinge of loneliness in their eyes. or is it just something that will always be kept. thing is, God sees through us and as much as we try to hide it, He knows. and hurt too. and even if our emotions are all in a mess, He is patient to always remind us that well, child, I am just here. in the busyness of phones ringing all the time in an office and loneliness sinking in, the devil trying to put you down and confuse you, He is telling us, once more "We can do all things through Him who strengthens us." then we'll see another workday through...
another dilemma,for newlygrads like me, i think is that we are caught between choosing to work for our country or for companies in the 1st world countries which can obviously pay you more.
everyone talks about the American dream. well, is it ever possible that some people in their right minds can say "no" to that dream? a mjority of people i think would be dumbfounded by that. well, ok, more than the monetary benefits or the possible "better future" (yet to be brought to completion even after years of serving in that 1st world country), what could be the gains and benefits? am i being narrow minded or down-right stubborn and/or stupid? i can't imagine myself as an AMerican citizen, seriously. i'm a Filipino at heart, i guess or am i just too attached with everyone i left back home? haha! or am i afraid to live here alone? this issue has been with me for the entirety of my stay. isn't it sad that i carry this weight with me all the time? well, that's for being an adult and supposedly being mature. wow. thanks for the added responsibility. nah, i was being sarcastic, of course. ;) that's why if God is truly the One ordaining our steps, life can go as smoothly as you've hoped for and even if there are difficulties, you wouldn't mind those because you know your steps are already ordained by HIM who made everything and can make everything possible again. *sigh* *inhales deeply*
(tagalog) haha! kanina tinanog ako pati kagabi, "may naiwan ka ba sa Pilipinas?" tawa na lang ako. anong isasagot ko> "hmmm...meron.pamilya." sa loob-loob ko, sana hindi na tanungin yung sa tingin ko tatanungin ako pero hindi, tinanong rin: "Wala kang naiwan na boyfriend?" haha! tawa nalang ako ulit, ewan, siguro, malay ko...haha! idaan nlang natin sa tawa...but no, may isang tao tinanong pa ulit ako: "Is that a good thing?"...hahahahha! kulang na lang magwalk-out ako no? IS THAT A GOOD THING? HMMM...
ok, i was just ranting. forgive the outbursts of negativity, please.
i still wish you have a great day or night. i wouldn't care to look at the different time zones now...hehe...peace! :)
October 07, 2005
something i remembered...
i really liked this song from when i watched "Swan Princess" and it was nice having remebered it again. :)
i really liked this song from when i watched "Swan Princess" and it was nice having remebered it again. :)
Far Longer Than Forever
Odette: If I could break this spellI'd run to him today
And somehow I know he's on his way to me
Derek, you and I were meant to be
Far longer than foreverI'll hold you in my heart
It's almost like you're here with me
Although we're far apart
Derek: Far longer than forever
As constant as a starI close my eyes and I am where you are
Odette: Sure as the dawn brings the sunrise
We've an unshakable bond
Derek: Destined to last for a lifetime and beyond
Far longer than foreverOdette: Far longer than forever
Derek: I swear that I'll be true
Odette: I swear that I'll be true
Derek: I've made an
Derek and Odette: Everlasting vow
To find a way to you
Far longer than forever
Like no love ever known
Odette: And with your love
Derek and Odette: I'll never be aloneOdette: Far longer than forever
Derek: Much stronger than forever
Odette: And with your love I'll never be alone
hehe. nice, right? :) so the next one is a poem probably inspired by that song/movie of princess stories coming to life? hah! or maybe something else...
WONDERING
we used to wonder about love
contemplating if it were like a dove
so pure yet something we can't have.
we used to wonder about the future
both believing there's eternal life for sure
that challenges are worthwhile to endure.
we used to wonder about our families
what they expected of us, did we miss
and even if we did, we are loved, we know this.
we used to wonder about our country
you, asking what can be done, if we're really free
and me thinking if as passionate as you, i'd ever be.
we used to wonder about life
considering there may be strife
and loneliness is not just some hype.
we used to wonder about happiness
not a question if our lives' a mess
for we find little joys in everyday, yes.
then we wonder about love still
if and when broken hearts ever heal
but without a doubt, there's that one God's will.
---angelhaze, 10/01/05
October 03, 2005
---angelhaze, 10/01/05
October 03, 2005
random things ^_^
updates:
we went to SIX FLAGS MAGIC MOUNTAIN at Valencia, CA last friday. :) i had been wanting and praying to be able to go there since the time i saw in the park's website that there was this HALLELUJAH JUBILEE which will feature Christian artists like Paul Wright, Shaun McDonald, Skillet, Matthew West and TobyMac! and it was really an answered prayer ;) i called Sarah a day before the actual event and it's a good thing Sarah's cousin Melissa also wanted to come so we were three and set out early that Friday morning enjoying both the rides and the concert. weeeheee! we truly have an awesome GOD!
^_^ ^_^ ^_^
anyway, i kept hearing this song over the radio the whole weekend so i decided to post it here anyway. (not that me doing that will somehow stop it from being played over and over ;) the thing that caught my attention was "when he's calling for you" and "before you tell him goodbye"...nothing spectacular, really, just that i've heard and/or read that the sweetest thing that a person can call you is by your name...haay, sentimental...so shoot me! hehe...but there is always a parallel to this kind of romantic love and God's love...although i'm just figuring it out lately...God calls us by name, each one of us and He is waiting for us to respond to the knock we hear on our heart's door and either ask Him to stay or ask Him to leave...and it also made me re-think...how many people have i told goodbye to? hmmm...
"Listen To Your Heart" by: ROXETTEI know there's something in the wake of your smile.I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.You've built a love but that love falls apart.Your little piece of heaven turns too dark. Listen to your heartwhen he's calling for you.Listen to your heartthere's nothing else you can do.I don't know where you're goingand I don't know why,but listen to your heartbefore you tell him goodbye. Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,the feeling of belonging to your dreams. And there are voicesthat want to be heard.So much to mentionbut you can't find the words.The scent of magic,the beauty that's beenwhen love was wilder than the wind.
+========================+==============================+
(PS: pre-script! haha! :) thanks to sarah for forwarding this in the yahoogroups ;)
Somewhere between the *procrastination* and the homework.. and the incessant forwards and the friendships and the calls to each other complaining about CrUsHeS and BF/GF!! Somewhere between the phone calls to oldfriends and the "I miss you's", the "I love you's" andthe "What are we doing tonight's?" And somewherebetween all of the changing and growing...somewhere between the classes and the skippingclasses...and the StUdYiNg for teStS...And thePRETENDING to "StUdY" for TeStS... And the downright NOT StUdYiNg for TeStS... I forgot--I forgot what ScHooL was all about.
Somewhere between all the appointments, starbucks coffee, and Mc Donald's... paying bills and then not paying bills...Making plans then breaking plans... Appearing, Disappearing, then reappearing... I forgot--I forgot what it was like to cry. I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy... And that pretending tobe SmArT doesn't make you smart .. I forgot that you can't just forget the past infear of the FUTURE... I forgot that you can't control falling in LoVe.. And that you can't make yourself fall in *LoVe*.... I learned that I can LOVE... I learned that it's okay to MEsS UP.... And it's okay to ask for HELP!!!.. And it's okay to feel like crap... I learned it's okay to cOmPLaiNand wHINe to all your friends for a whole day........ I learned that sometimes the things you wantmost you just can't have and the things that you look for are right in front of you.I learned that the greatest thing about HiGh ScHOoL and CoLLeGe and the working worldit isn't about the parties or the DRiNKiNG or the Hookups ...
It's the *FrIeNdShIpS*, which means taking chances. I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about... I learned that TIME and LOVE can heal all things... I learned that just when you think it can't get worse - it does! ...but with the love and support of friends - you survive... I've learned that when you start feeling BaD about L O S I N G touch and about those that you've lost! They too, are feeling the same way....
I learned that letters from friends are the most important things. And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better! But, basically, I just learned that my friends........ Both old and new..... are the most importantpeople to me in the world AND.......without them, I wouldn't be whoI am today.....
So this is a THANK YOU to all of my friends... For always being there. And even if we're not on good termsor we have lost touch... I will always have an unconditionallove for you.. ~Always and forever ~
---ADAPTED
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-===-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-
September 28, 2005
updates:
we went to SIX FLAGS MAGIC MOUNTAIN at Valencia, CA last friday. :) i had been wanting and praying to be able to go there since the time i saw in the park's website that there was this HALLELUJAH JUBILEE which will feature Christian artists like Paul Wright, Shaun McDonald, Skillet, Matthew West and TobyMac! and it was really an answered prayer ;) i called Sarah a day before the actual event and it's a good thing Sarah's cousin Melissa also wanted to come so we were three and set out early that Friday morning enjoying both the rides and the concert. weeeheee! we truly have an awesome GOD!
^_^ ^_^ ^_^
anyway, i kept hearing this song over the radio the whole weekend so i decided to post it here anyway. (not that me doing that will somehow stop it from being played over and over ;) the thing that caught my attention was "when he's calling for you" and "before you tell him goodbye"...nothing spectacular, really, just that i've heard and/or read that the sweetest thing that a person can call you is by your name...haay, sentimental...so shoot me! hehe...but there is always a parallel to this kind of romantic love and God's love...although i'm just figuring it out lately...God calls us by name, each one of us and He is waiting for us to respond to the knock we hear on our heart's door and either ask Him to stay or ask Him to leave...and it also made me re-think...how many people have i told goodbye to? hmmm...
"Listen To Your Heart" by: ROXETTEI know there's something in the wake of your smile.I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.You've built a love but that love falls apart.Your little piece of heaven turns too dark. Listen to your heartwhen he's calling for you.Listen to your heartthere's nothing else you can do.I don't know where you're goingand I don't know why,but listen to your heartbefore you tell him goodbye. Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,the feeling of belonging to your dreams. And there are voicesthat want to be heard.So much to mentionbut you can't find the words.The scent of magic,the beauty that's beenwhen love was wilder than the wind.
+========================+==============================+
(PS: pre-script! haha! :) thanks to sarah for forwarding this in the yahoogroups ;)
Somewhere between the *procrastination* and the homework.. and the incessant forwards and the friendships and the calls to each other complaining about CrUsHeS and BF/GF!! Somewhere between the phone calls to oldfriends and the "I miss you's", the "I love you's" andthe "What are we doing tonight's?" And somewherebetween all of the changing and growing...somewhere between the classes and the skippingclasses...and the StUdYiNg for teStS...And thePRETENDING to "StUdY" for TeStS... And the downright NOT StUdYiNg for TeStS... I forgot--I forgot what ScHooL was all about.
Somewhere between all the appointments, starbucks coffee, and Mc Donald's... paying bills and then not paying bills...Making plans then breaking plans... Appearing, Disappearing, then reappearing... I forgot--I forgot what it was like to cry. I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy... And that pretending tobe SmArT doesn't make you smart .. I forgot that you can't just forget the past infear of the FUTURE... I forgot that you can't control falling in LoVe.. And that you can't make yourself fall in *LoVe*.... I learned that I can LOVE... I learned that it's okay to MEsS UP.... And it's okay to ask for HELP!!!.. And it's okay to feel like crap... I learned it's okay to cOmPLaiNand wHINe to all your friends for a whole day........ I learned that sometimes the things you wantmost you just can't have and the things that you look for are right in front of you.I learned that the greatest thing about HiGh ScHOoL and CoLLeGe and the working worldit isn't about the parties or the DRiNKiNG or the Hookups ...
It's the *FrIeNdShIpS*, which means taking chances. I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about... I learned that TIME and LOVE can heal all things... I learned that just when you think it can't get worse - it does! ...but with the love and support of friends - you survive... I've learned that when you start feeling BaD about L O S I N G touch and about those that you've lost! They too, are feeling the same way....
I learned that letters from friends are the most important things. And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better! But, basically, I just learned that my friends........ Both old and new..... are the most importantpeople to me in the world AND.......without them, I wouldn't be whoI am today.....
So this is a THANK YOU to all of my friends... For always being there. And even if we're not on good termsor we have lost touch... I will always have an unconditionallove for you.. ~Always and forever ~
---ADAPTED
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-===-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-
September 28, 2005
WHEN ALL WE NEED IS YOU
amazing how there's so much truth
in a simple line that can soothe
our troubled minds and heal our hearts
when we say "All we need is You Lord."
Lord we need Your unending love
while we're living in this temporary world
that we may care for un-loveable people
as Jesus Himself made broken souls whole.
Lord we need Your unwavering faith
for the Father's will to be done
for with it comes life-changing power
if we continue to believe in our only Savior.
Lord we need Your very presence
knowing full well You'd guide us through
circumstances that may never make sense
but assured that You'll show us what's true.
Lord we need Your incomparable strength
when we acknowledge our own weakness
for we are no superheroes and we falter
as the road leading to You seems longer.
Lord we need Your unshakeable peace
where too many options only confuse us
all the more keeping us from the right track
let our minds focus on heavenly things above.
Lord we need Your everyday grace
as we recognize our life is in Your Hands
Master Creator, made heaven and earth without haste
You Who give everything and can them in just seconds.
And still You fulfill Your promises
that You shall be with us till the end
nothing more we can ask and then
we say again, "All we need is You, our Lord."
-angelhaze, sept.20 '05, california-
September 21, 2005
musings...
it rained last night. it was the first time i experienced rain here in the US. funny how i never expected it to come when the reality is, we're still in the same world. i just happen to be in a different side of the earth so i expected snow, not rain. wow, how stupid can i get huh? hehehe. made me feel more lonesome. i miss hateful rainy days in the Philippines simply because i know wherever i went, i'd always be going home and drying my clothes and shoes. here now i'm left hanging, never really sure where home is, the only place you are certain you are wanted...where you are missed by family and friends...well, enough of my bouts of loneliness. i'll listen to this advice for once:
"OUR LONELINESS CAN'T ALWAYS BE FIXED, BUT IT CAN ALWAYS BE ACCEPTED AS THE VERY WILL OF GOD FOR NOW, AND THAT TURNS IT INTO VALUABLE TREASURE." - Elisabeth Elliot
*******************************
have you ever asked these questions?:
are the seemingly bad things that happen a result of your own sinfulness or God's testing for our faith to be stregthened all the more?
are the good things that come to us God's blessings or Satan's means of tempting us to fall?
********************
"GUARD YOUR HEART AGAINST THE PAIN OF BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS BY REFUSING TO SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN THE TRUE AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE DESCRIBED IN THE BIBLE." - CHECKLIST FOR LIFE FOR GRADUATES
very true and yet...there will be times when you want to "fall right into love" without a care in the world...just to be able to say that you did love someone even for just a little while...or maybe you were simply scared of growing old with a sinking feeling that maybe nobody just thought you were good enough for him/her...sometimes perhaps we opt to have broken hearts knowing that with that, God can make it whole again...perhaps, every one of us had been broken without being involved in a romantic relationship...and we keep waiting for someone else to help us pick up the pieces, realizing that there is truth in the saying "No man is an island"...or just wanting to relish in the feeling that someone would actually want to spend the rest of his/her life with you and accept you for who you are...or maybe i'm still a little too ideal and sentimental and though i may not wish for Prince Charming to ever come my way, i hope we could at least meet in a field of roses or can i at least keep a single red rose? maybe then i'm not Belle in the story "Beauty and the Beast", but more like Beast who waits worried that the petals of the rose will all fall before that person will be ready to love me or afraid that i haven't loved as "best" as i can...if there is such a thing...anyway, at the end of every fairy tale, we all know that both persons know each other's feelings. it wasn't kept a secret. no "sana alam mo...or sana alam ko, no?"...but then again, real life is nothin compared to Disney and Grimm's fairy tales...when will we ever learn that GOD is enough for us?! i ask myself that too, believe me..."when will i ever learn that You have loved me so much and You are enough for me?" or "have i trusted You enough with my life?" well, here's the good news, (as Eric Ludy wrote in When God Writes Your Life Story):
"God is far less concerned about what we do for Him than he is about our passion to simply be with Him."
September 20, 2005
September 20, 2005
posted by hazella @ 1/17/2006 02:18:00 AM
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